fetch me my cane

For a reasons astrology would put down to not a bit of chance, most of my friends' birthdays fall in the colder months. The phonecalls begin pouring out late October, and taper off in early February. I give my good wishes, and lately, we speak of losing youth. My birthday falls at the end of the year, so I make note that there's a whole year's less dispairity. In the histories of exgirlfriends, this could have potentially made some legal difference. As time goes on, the age gaps become less and less, in the big picture of our lives. In the mathematical sense, as our ages approach infinity, their differences approach zero. A friend was comforting me on approaching thirty, since I will be twenty-nine this year. She might have been spotting the acceptance of aging hipsters in society; she said thirty was the new twenty. This only made me realize I am so old the life expectancy has lengthened a decade.

My body is aging. There is now a good sized, dark mole exposed on my forehead by a receding hairline. It could be an age spot, sans recession, which I'd take as an even trade. The Converse All-Star Chuck Taylor sneakers I wear are quite aged, falling apart. They're manufactured to have the life expectancy of a mosquito, though I doubt the fad will ever die. I've switched to smoking Old Gold cigarettes, missing the fittingness at the time of the switch. Smoking does make you look old, and I've gathered, prematurely elderly. As, we've all seen fifty year-olds wheeling around their deathbed oxygen tube getups. My person probably exudes age in many ways. Yet, when I see a group of highschool kids, I can't help the knee jerk to go chill and see whassup. I believe I'm as young as they are for a second, and forget that by joining them, I'd be putting an adult on display. Luckily, I scratch my face nervously at times like these. The thick beard of whiskers reminds me that I should stick, at least, to college kids.

Apparently, I've reproduced. The task for which nature has enlisted us is... almost complete. Bearing one child ensures another goes on, but the world's population would soon dwindle if all had only one. Of course, there are the Catholics to relieve some of each individual's burden. And thanks to Enzyte, Viagra, and other reproductive drugs, the task is now shared more by the aged. I hope not to soon find myself in a position of awkward conversation with a doctor about how I cannot carry out my 2.4 kid part of the bargain, if I tried. Less do I look forward to the point of discovery of a problem. I'll admit, my teenage love 'til lethargy has kind of phased out. I almost look forward__I hear those pills pack a punch.

I've been told I look young for my age, at many of my ages. It's not only a matter of how you appear that determines your antiquity. Age may not entirely be a state of mind__everyone's going to expire. But, a person's mind dates them against others. Astrology is somewhat of a science of the mind. I read that as a Capricorn, I was born old, and will grow to be a cooing babe with age. I am often astounded my astrological advices. And, I recalled my youth on hearing this; all the uptight adultish ideals I held. Then thought of the childish behavior I exhibited in my early adulthood so far. Well, I wasn't a staunch republican by dawn, or liberalist by dusk, and I think horoscopes can tend to shed light on universal themes. Old character is, perhaps, free to move independent of age. But, remembrance is what factually defines it.

I remember when I bought the computer on which I now type. It was the summer of 2004, in Radioshack. Personal computers such as mine are good for things like the Internet, word processing, or developing software. They can be good for gaming, if you've got the right junk in the box. I've stopped following the specs of non-personal computer gaming consoles, like the ones that hook up to your TV. As I've mentioned in a previous blog, follow the numbers. Higher numbers mean better quality, be it graphics, sound, or speed. Computers have been 32-bit for quite some time. Now there are 64-bit processors. The selling point of a personal computer has long been the speed of the processor in megahertz, recently gigahertz (million or billion). I had been considering purchasing a new system to improve graphics, primarily. At the store, the salesman introduced me to a sleek new computer. It had a "quad-core" processor. I asked the gigahertz. He only replied, again, that it was "quad-core" and that was all I needed to know. Apparently we've gone from somesuch billion to basic numerals like 4 (quad). This happens. Memory used to be a selling point. The Commodore 64 computer had 64,000 bytes of memory. Well, Nintendo released, some years later, the Nintendo 64. 64, here, referred to the bits of the processor, which determines speed. A Dell-4 or HP-4, would not sell so well if the processor had four bits. In any case, I looked at the price tag, and it was the most expensive computer in the aisle. The graphics this 2004 model puts out aren't real shabby. If I were to buy, I'd buy the best to really get a difference. I'd want my current computer to be blown off so bad it'd be nervously making conversation with the Atari 600 at the technology convention that is my closet.

On the long subject of technology, I was told flat out in a conversation that I was old. I remembered the days of the BBS, the Bulletin Board Systems of America. They were the pre-Internet. Texual chatting, games, file downloads; all the Internet has today, but accessed via telephone. Many fewer participated than today. Due to long distance costs, most chose to access BBS's in the local area. The incident of assault on meeting a fellow BBS'er could conceivably be comparable to today's rate. There were few if any checks. Most were oblivious, my mother included. I did make a few legitimate friends online in the early nineties, and was wary of others. I guess you could say I survived the days of the BBS. Age has a bit to do with survival. Having an offspring, I've done some thinking on survival and experience. At a young age I found myself recounting all my grandparents had lived through; the Depression, at a young age; World War II, the Korean and Vietnam wars. Not to mention the crazy inventions they'd witnessed__the change of lifestyle. I wondered what I'd see. Neither made it to September, 2001, but I suppose it's where I picked up. I wondered what she'll see, and it was a new idea to me. Upon finding you've conceived a child, one recaps the personal dangers one's encountered, as well as world events. It could have been a tough one to put on someone, but it's evident age dictates unrelated desires to do so.