Always, I am reminded. I muddle through every day without my actions seeming my-my-how-manlike. I believe that more often I amble around the city assuming I'm seen as a kid. It's not until someone verbally reminds me that I am of adult age and appearance that its ever on my mind. I might even respond to "Hey kid!" before "Excuse me Sir!" Hearing "Sir" causes me to think of the mature-looking men for whom I have always reserved the polite address. Is that what I am, now?
Recently, I was thanked by a younger friend for treating him like a son... "Thanks, Sir!" My roommate and I were followed from a café by a young rascal requesting money, cigarettes and a fight. When I dodged his punches he claimed, "Look at this! A grown man is afraid of me... "Whatsamatta, Sir?" Then, a close friend asked me straight out if I considered myself a boy or a man. I told her, I consider myself a man as much as I consider this town of Milwaukee, Wisconsin to be a large metropolis. Brilliant, she said.
Though not the political capital of the state, Beer Capital of the nation Milwaukee, Wisconsin lies north of Chicago, Illinois on Lake Michigan, for those unsure. The city sports one tall skyscraper and has a transfixing nighttime skyline besides. You'll find museums, theatres, a rainbow of cultural cuisine and several colleges and Universities. That's enough from the brochure. Milwaukee trys very hard to be a metropolis, and by population statistics it might be there. However, the presence of big-city ambiance is debatable, intermittent really.
One example of a shortcoming in Milwaukee's attempts to pass itself off as a metropolis is the taxicab system. A visitor might see taxis roaming the streets, but there is no place to hail one. They are on an as-needed phone-call-required basis. In downtown Milwaukee, my walking companion and I were asked by a young visiting businesswoman where she could catch a cab. There was a look of indescribable confusion when we told her the situation.
There are, however, panhandlers in Milwaukee. However again, I recognize most of them now. Not more than an hour ago I was asked for some change. I replied I had none, which was the truth. The man began walking with me, which I didn't take as a threat for I knew him from countless other encounters. He then explained that he needed three-fifty so he could get a tap beer and gamble on the pool table. I would have given him the money, had I had it, regardless of this generally donation-repellant logic. I know what a few beers can do to one's luck at billiards.
As a Milwaukeean that uses almost strictly pedestrian transportation, I am immersed in the neighborhoods of the city daily. Like many cities, there are ghettos in the archaic definition of the word. National Avenue on the south side is teeming with hispanic restaurants and plastered with billboards bearing messages only in Spanish. Another area that could be considered an ethnic "ghetto" is my own neighborhood. It contains several Italian delis as well as fine dining establishments. At the Brady Street Pharmacy's attached coffee shop conversations in Italian can be overheard on any day. The modern definition of a ghetto does not escape Milwaukee either. However, I have never felt a need to be nervous while traversing these areas on foot. Am I oblivious to the risk, or is Milwaukee nearly as safe as a town with a fraction of the population?
As mentioned, Milwaukee is a town of colleges. Among the many students to be seen, and among the young populous in general, there are the punks, hippies, hipsters, fashion deviants, poets... artists, really. The coffee shop storefronts are made beautiful by these individuals. In the more aged generations, however, eccentricity is harder to find. Longtime adults in this city seem to have taken on a homogeneous lifestyle reminiscent of that in the small town from which I hail. I will not rule out the factor of my having grown up in a small town around the turn of the century. Perhaps MTV, the Internet and various franchises are resposible for allowing city culture to seep into rural America. But, that's another essay.
Milwaukee possesses the ability to virtually instantly gratify a whim, as most large cities do. Twenty-four hour restaurants abound, and most are within walking distance. It occurred to a girl with whom I had been wandering aimlessly around downtown for several consecutive days that "Milwaukeetalkie" has a certain ring to it. I then elaborated on the new word, separating it into "Meal, walkie, talkie," which is exactly what downtown Milwaukee is good for.
I imagine that while living in any neighborhood in any city one might notice a thing like when a stranger gets a haircut, but the presence of strangers--people who don't even know anyone you know--is a refreshing fact after leaving a tiny town. This next story might not have ever worked out had it occurred in my town of ten thousand. While in a mild state of psychotic mania I began to believe a girl who had gone away for the summer would suddenly appear in Milwaukee. I had ditched my glasses early in the madness, and many strangers' faces appeared familiar. Standing on the steps of my apartment house, a beautiful girl walked by in a group of her friends. Not looking entirely unlike the girl for whom I was fruitlessly searching, I asked, "Hey, do I know you?" She froze and said, "I don't know, do you?" "No," I said, "I know you from a distance." A pair of pink striped panties showed up on my doorstep the next day. Encounters with strangers, even if they last only seconds, can leave a feeling to savor for a lifetime.
The summer in which the previous story occurred, I succeeded in escaping the psychiatric ward in which I was kept. I headed for home. Undoubtedly, it was the atmosphere shifts experienced in walking twenty miles through the neighborhoods of Milwaukee that made the city seem as though it were the balanced regeneration of civilization after the nuclear war I believed had occurred. Milwaukee is riding the line of metropolis status in my mind. Often, I'll be caught up in how much of a disparity there is between how a situation goes down here as compared to in my hometown. Often still, I'll wonder when I stepped into the wormhole back to my hometown. If Milwaukee had an singular mind it might be as confused about its metropolitan status as I am about my status as a man.
